| Joke World | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Below there are a few jokes- but that is just the beginning. The links show you the rest of my pages. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Here are a few general jokes- An elderly woman decide to have her potrait painted. She told the artist..."Paint me with diamond earings, a diamond necklace, emerald braclets, a ruby broach and a gold Rolex". "But you aren't wearing any of those things" replied the artist. "I know" she said. "It's incase I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry". A man is driving up a steep mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other she leans out the window and yells "PIG!!" . He imediatley leans out his window and replies, "BITCH!!". They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig standing in the middle of the road. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| Below here a few jokes about speed and driving | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders but wasn't getting many. Then, he discovered the problem- a 10-year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read "radar trap ahead". The officer then noticed a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "tips" and a bucket full of change. A mototrist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar trap. A $40 speeding ticket included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with a mailed photo of handcuffs. A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motocycle officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book she said "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolman's Ball." He replied, "Highway partolmen don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left. She was laughing to hard to start her car for several minutes. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| And here a good gag about kids watching TV | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Two boys are sitting in the living room, watching TV with their parents. The mother looks over at the father with a wink and a nod toward the stairs to the bedroom. The father "gets" the message and they both get up and head toward the stairs. The mother turns back to the two boys and says, "We're going upstairs for a minute. You two stay here and watch TV, we'll be right back. OK?". The two boys nod okay and the parents take off upstairs. The oldest of the two boys is old enough to know what's going on now, and he gets up and tiptoes upstairs. At the top of the stairs, he peeks into his parents bedroom and shakes his head. Back downstairs he goes, back to his little brother. "Come with me," he says and the two boys tiptoe up the stairs. Halfway up, he turns to his little borother and says, "Now I want you to keep in mind, this is the same woman who used to bust our ass for sucking our thumd!!!" | IF YOU HAVE ANY COMMENTS OR COMPLAINTS, E-MAIL ME ABOUT THEM BY CLICKING ON MY ADDRESS WHICH IS AT THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE PAGE
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